generic purple clone

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
sapphosewrites
sapphosewrites

It's December, which means it's time for me to put on my Grinch hat and offer some hostile advice!

  • If you are going to write a Jewish character celebrating Christmas, don't.
  • If you are going to argue that Christmas is a secular or non-religious holiday, don't.
  • If you are going to present a version of the future where Christmas is universally celebrated by everyone secularly, ask yourself why homogeneity is so important to you and why you hate religious and cultural diversity.
  • "But I don't hate that!" you say. Okay. Then don't.
  • If you are going to argue that "Christmas is a universal time of goodwill that everyone enjoys and only haters are against it because it is truly magical and there is no reason to be so hostile about it people are just trying to have fun"--- shut up.

Please also keep in mind that Chanukah is a minor holiday. If you are drawing Spock in an ugly Chanukah sweater and patting yourself on the back for celebrating religious diversity, you aren't! You're taking a Christian image and experience and painting a thin veneer of Judaism on top of it and deciding that counts! I want to see Worf celebrating Passover. I want Jewish characters getting to honor the High Holy Days, or even beyond the 10 Days of Awe, because there's several straight important holidays in a row (from Rosh Hashanah to Simchat Torah) before winter even arrives in this hemisphere.

Your experiences are not universal, despite what a cultural narrative is trying very hard to make you believe. If you are writing Star Trek fiction because you believe in an inclusive future where people are celebrated and welcomed regardless of their identity and background, then depict that future.

If you think religious diversity is the exception to that and doesn't count, then you are bad and you should feel bad. (And yes, Gene Roddenberry, that does mean you.)

idiealotdontworry
idiealotdontworry

(CW for mentions of sexual, domestic, and medical abuse. nothing graphic, but be smart and keep yourself safe.)

what oppression against aspec people can (and often does!) look like, on a systemic level:

-your doctor believes you are not feeling enough sexual attraction, and recommends you unwanted and unneeded medication and / or "therapy" to "cope" with this. you are labeled as a problem patient if you refuse these things, and your refusal is used against you when you seek treatment for unrelated health issues. it is very likely that your doctor will coerce or otherwise try to force you to do these things, even / especially if you explain that you are asexual. your family and friends are likely to side with your doctor.

-your family disowns you because you will not be fulfilling their demands for your own life (not getting married, not giving your parents grandchildren, etc) which can often lead to homelessness and other forms of systemic vulnerability. suddenly losing your support system is extremely destabilizing and difficult to recover from.

-you come out to a partner, and they find this new information unacceptable. they abuse you sexually and / or domestically because they believe doing so is doing you a favor, or is "fixing" you. the people and systems around you believe this is your fault.

-you reject someone's advances. they decide your rejection of their sexual / romantic advances is a transgression worthy of violence. the people and systems around you believe this is your fault.

-like everyone else, you can not afford to live alone. for this reason, you can not avoid situations that are harmful to you. you are forced to either live with unsupportive/violent family, with friends who will move out as soon as they find a romantic partner (which is, again, very destabilizing), or with complete strangers who are very likely to antagonize, hurt, or even simply misunderstand you. securing safe, stable housing is difficult for most, and these are some of the reasons it is difficult for aspecs specifically, informed by other societal factors.

-you are removed and rejected from queer spaces, leaving you with zero community, zero help, and zero support. you face the consequences of systemic oppression alone.

this is something i can not stress enough: this kills people. ace and aro people are dying under systemic oppression and violence. this violence existing primarily behind closed doors is part of the problem, because it is extremely hard to get help when nobody is looking. we are our only advocates, our only witnesses. THAT is why we call attention to our suffering.

aspecs suffer in forced silence. bringing up our pain or orientations makes allo people, even allo LBGTQ people, treat us horribly. we are invisible, and that is not a privilege- it is just one of many routes toward pain. this is why we are fighting for visibility, not because it does not come with risks, but because we're already fucking oppressed and being quiet about it ain't gonna change that. denying the lived experiences and oppression of aspec people across the globe does not make you a good person. stop treating oppression like a contest and accept that modes of oppression work WITH and FOR each other, not against or in spite of each other.

this is an educational post, not discourse. listen or don't, but allo people keep your mouth shut.

noa-ciharu
noa-ciharu

One of the things noone talks about about growing up as queer in extremely queer-phobic society is how it can damage your ability to connect to people on deeper/emotional level. Because friendships are all fine and dandy, but when you get too close to someone questions of who you like would inevitably come up. We live in cisnormative heteronormative society after all

And kids/teens aren't stupid, they can tell something is off. So whenever difficult questions come up you either have option to lie or tell the truth and pray 1:9 chances are in your favor and your "friend" isn't queerphobic and won't tell you to seek therapy. And even if by some miracle they aren't, they'd still avoid talking about your sexuality/gender experiences because deep down it does makes them uncomfortable. That's closest to accepted you've felt irl, so you keep quiet

At school you hear peers talking about hanging out after school; open hanging out, everyone's invited. When school bell rings you're packing stuff and going right home

Do not make fun of autistic/ND folks who type phonetically, without proper grammar, who may not have “normal” typing/writing. I often type phonetically or without grammar when with friends. I mess up with spaces and word spelling constantly. Typing “right way” should not be a mandatory thing here. A lot of people can’t not type “strange” . Listen to them.